IT’S TIME FOR BLACK WOMEN AND BLACK MALES TO SEPARATE!!!
My mother used to say, “Black men and white women are a perfect match. You have to keep reassuring White women that they’re thin and beautiful, and you gotta keep reassuring Black men that they’re handsome and smart.” As my life experience matures, I’m discovering that there may be a little truth in her observation, but I have concluded that our problem is more complex than that. I’m a Black woman who dates exclusively White men. As I cogitate about my race, I can’t understand what else Black women have to do to receive love, loyalty, and respect from Black males. Because we cannot seem to fulfill each other’s needs, it is time for Black women and Black males to call it quits.
Yes. The battle of the sexes exists in every race, but with Black people, there is an inexplicable venom directed towards Black women that one could justify by telling us our loud, in-your-face behavior is to blame. But, Hispanic, Italian, and women of other races and cultures are known for possessing the same characteristics. Their fiery tempers still don’t label them as the angry White or Hispanic woman, nor are they provoked into defending themselves, because no one else in the room will, so they can be accused of being angry. But, isn’t the Black woman’s loyalty to the Black male deserving of his respect?
As Jay-Z struts around with his hair standing proud and tall in every direction, his wife, Beyonce’, covers her Black hair to perform for us while she, I’m almost certain, encourages her husband that he is good enough. Can’t y’all hear it now? “Baby, you’re a beautiful Black man. Wear your hair however you want.” But, yet, Jay still boldly recounts to a New York Times journalist that he cheated on Bey 15 years out of their then 17-year relationship. We don’t get that same encouragement from anyone. However, I've been treated well in my romances with Black males.
I have had three Black boyfriends who gave me honorable relationship experiences. I have no horror stories. So, why do I exclusively date White men? I’m not physically attracted to Black males. I’m also not attracted to a race of males that cannot purse their lips together to call Black women “women.” Their excuse is, “Some of y’all ain’t “women.” When was the last time they read about a crime in a newspaper, watched the 11 o’clock news and saw wanted faces, or talked to anyone of their friends or family members who received child support papers? Males dominate all of the mentioned categories, yet they still refer to themselves and each other as “men.” We are either “bitches” or “females” to them because they hate us.
I heard Nosey Heaux, a Youtube blogger and entertainer ask Black women, “Why wouldn’t you want to date White men? They run the world. They own everything. Why wouldn’t you?” I’m asking Black women the same thing. It is time to explore something new. The blogger also said what I’ve been proclaiming for years — “Black women don’t own Black men. Stop telling White women to leave our Black men alone.” Maybe we should leave them alone.
Perhaps Black women should stop being the first to organize for Black males when one of them gets gunned down by the police since they say we don’t support them. Maybe we should halt putting our houses up for their bail as Nicki Minaj reportedly did for her brother and the Notorious B.I.G’s daughter T'yanna Wallace for her boyfriend.
I think our problems mimic the racism bestowed upon us by White people — Black and White people have been looking at the same thing for decades and seeing something different. We have been listening to the same thing for decades, but hearing something different, except Black people and Black women believe that the oppressor in both analogies is deliberately missing the point.
This is why it’s time for a separation, even if it is a temporary one. I’ve seen my peers undergo the pain of not feeling “good enough,” because their asses aren’t large enough, or their hair isn’t long and straight enough while they watch Black males date Katie Holmes, who doesn’t match the measurements we’re told we must own to meet their standards (Holmes’ body is fine). A$AP Rocky bowed at actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s feet on the red carpet. Where is her big deformed ass? The message is no ass is needed when you’re White. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Minaj stated to podcaster Joe Budden that rapper Lil’ Wayne encouraged her to get a butt augmentation early in her career because she didn’t have “the look” for hip hop. Being a Black woman is never just good enough.
The loyalty Black women have for Black males is unwavering. Gabriel Union told Oprah Winfrey that at many celebrity parties, there has been pictures of Kelly Rowland posted outside the door with a caption reading, “If you’re a woman who’s this complexion, stay out.”
I started not to mention body image, for I never want the audience to think this article is about my bitterness. I am tall, long, elegant, glamorous, sophisticated, and a proud dark-skinned Black woman with a flat ass, and I have no interest in the Black male. I simply no longer want other Black women to have an interest in them either.
